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statiic and silence <3

time doesn't matter; timing is everything ..

31 May
External Services:
  • puck_inlove@livejournal.com
"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath"

puck'in-love@ Live Journal

time doesn't matter; timing is everything <3

My name is Allison, I’m 15 years old. I’m a band nerd, I play flute and
piccolo, mostly piccolo (when I get the chance). I got my bebe June 10th,
2006. Love him more than anything.

Frodo . Gemeinhardt 4W, grenadilla wood.

I have my tummy pierced – February 21, 2006. it’s an irritating little thing.

I don’t have a boyfriend, don’t want one. I work too much, and care too
much about school to get involved right now. Maybe I’ll meet someone amazing
and that will all the change, but right now I’m content enough to not get
enough sleep because I work too much and study too hard .. I’ve worked way
too hard on what small amount of self confidence I’ve worked up again to go
back into a relationship where things are torn apart so easily, where any
amount of commitment means nothing.

I've become increasingly moody, and more thoughtful. I prefer being alone
than being with anyone else. I have a few close friends, but I don't really
pursue much with friendships. I have two bestfriends who have stuck through
everything with me - no matter what. Dani, Ben.. I love you two so incredibly
much =). You two make me laugh when I don't even feel like smiling.. Thank
you for always, always being there.. And I'm here for you too ♥

when we first met, I thought I had strayed into a dream ..

.. it scares me how much I care for you. I'm usually able to
leave, and forget, and let go. I don't know why I feel this way about
you, but I know it's not going to go away .. I want you to see that I
would do anything to make things work. Waiting is so hard, but I'm
going to do it anyway.. So in a month, two months, longer.. I'll be
in the same place, but I don't care .. I have never been as happy
as when I was with you .. I would do anything to be the one to make
you as happy as you did to me - effortlessly :) .. you believed in
me, and .. now I just hope . without expectations, but I do
hope. ♥

.. I thought that maybe if I could install the little thought of
not trying for someone unless they find it worthwhile enough to try
for me, but I can't get you out of my head.. how much longer is one
person supposed to wait, to be strained and stretched and confused
and at the end of the day - feel this way? unable to be in a relationship,
always wary of being hurt, unable to think anything but negatively
in terms of relationships.. unless its with you, where it was so
bad. no, this isn't fair. yes, it has been months. but if I give
you up - then what have I waited for? what have I tried so damn hard
for? giving you up, giving up hope would be losing myself, in a way..
to be without some sort of purpose, of knowledge of self? I'm stretched
way too far, way too thin. I am a semblance of who I used to be, so much
different . not as kind, not as naive nor innocent . you did this to me.

and I love you. how far am I willing to go for love?

"No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"