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About Me

My name is Ali. I'm 14 years old. I'm a music nerd; I play flute and piccolo. Without music, my life would be a mistake. I'm single - I don't see myself becoming attached in the near future. Relationships are messy, and end painfully. I don't have the time or energy to go through another breakup. I'm a lot moodier than I'd like to be.. Love me :)

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new lj [December 09, 2006 @ 7:57pm]
new livejournal; add it.


and, as always


[October 01, 2006 @ 10:23am]
[ mood | sore ]



Read (2) Comment

[September 15, 2006 @ 1:18pm]
[ mood | sick ]

wow, I feel like crap today. x_x

so sick. stayed home from school because I have a naaiiice ear infection thats throwing me off balance and I have a headcold and urgh .. I didn't want to go to school just so Keisher could tell me to bugger off home because I have SARS/ear cancer. My ears keep on popping and it hurts..

I had a jazz band audition yesterday at school. My band teacher says I have a 'gorgeous tone'.. u.u

Anyone else played Satiric Dances? Anyone else in LOVE with it? EH? Wowwie wow wow. I looove it. Does anyone happen to have a half decent recording of it? I've only found one by a senior band, and its ridiculously crap..

Read (3) Comment

[September 11, 2006 @ 4:40pm]
I work.

way too much.

but I'm buying another amazing flute this weekend. excitement.

[September 10, 2006 @ 12:08am]
[ mood | tired ]

bought a flute today.

days like these I love my job.


[September 09, 2006 @ 11:56am]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm in a shitty mood. Very tired..

Worked last night, working tonight. working tomorrow night. and monday, tuesday, CYB's wednesday, working thursday, friday, saturday, sunday.. I'm really, really fucking tired.

My french class is ridiculous. I was told if I don't get a full time tutor I'm going to fail. So I'm dropping the class for Spanish, as no one knows Spanish and its a completely new class for most people. Plus spare before lunch next semester if I drop French. I just don't have time to do it, regardless of whether or not I want to.

That school is so damn crowded.. It's made for 800 students, and has nearly 1500.. going down hallways .. it's just packed. I have to book it from one end of the school to the other (gym to french) for third period. quite ridiculous. le ridiculous, as the french would say.

There's a nerd room at Miles Mac.. =) been in there every lunch so far. or the band room. bleeh.

I love band, I just haven't been in the mood to practice at all lately.. I haven't played flute in so long and.. n_n. Mr. Kostyra wants me in jazz band, yay, but.. I don't really play flute anymore. and I need to rent one x_X.

I feel like I'm already burning out and school just started. Not happy, in general, right now.. I work too much, and.. bleh . So tired!

I have nothing else to say. I'm gonna go die for a few more hours before work.


[September 05, 2006 @ 9:49am]
[ mood | tired ]

School's tomorrow..

I'm really tired. Not very happy. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night, just..upset x_x

Going shopping now for an hour before work, then going to work from 11 til 10:30! jesus christ. I'm going to diee.

'nother picture behind cut.

we were sleeepy .. Collapse )

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[September 04, 2006 @ 6:04pm]
[ mood | sore ]

love my job at applebee's.

my grandfather passed away, my aunt joelle had a baby. its kind of ironic how life is so give and take..

got glasses.

school's on wednesday. really slack first semester. that's okay, my second semester is absolute shite.

really liked this boy. asked him out, he has a girlfriend, though he gave me his phone number anyway? weeird. I'm not phoning.

I work 11 hours tomorrow, then school the next day. I'mgonnadiee.

steve irwin the crocodile hunter died! jeeze.

I'm exhausted. I'm gonna eat and sleep.

one picture behind cut.

Read more...Collapse )


[August 28, 2006 @ 1:26am]
[ mood | tired ]

mm. am gonna go cry now.

I Want To Sing - Regina Spektor

I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass this too shall pass

But tell me, what have I done to deserve you?
Must have done something cause that's how it works
Must have been kind to kittens and birds,
In a previous life must have thought happy thoughts...

'cause there, you were there right beside me
Then somehow inside me while inside myself
Books on the shelf thoughts on the shelf
Hands to myself, i should definitely keep my hands to myself

Love is a dangerous pastime
Caught between madness and gladness of flight
Nothing is wrong and nothing is right
Falling asleep in your arms every night

But Love's such a strange situation
Full of frustration and anger and fear
Everything's tears
Nobody hears
Nobody's here, and nobody hears...

I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
Take off your shoes take off my dress
I want to sing to you my love
My only love and happiness
Don't be so blue so blue my love
This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

Read (2) Comment

[August 26, 2006 @ 3:54pm]

some things never get better. some things just always hurt. some pain is just .. so deepset and engrained in who you are that without it youère no longer who you aree unless you miss them, love them, still feel choked up over them. it doesnèt matter but it does I suppose. I canèt make this sort of feeling go away.. just got hit with it so hard all of a sudden. it was as if.. I hadnèt thought about it really, I kind of put it to the back of my mind then I came here and I felt as if Ièd begin to cry..

I hate french keyboards.

[August 25, 2006 @ 1:14pm]
[ mood | sore ]

oh lord.

last days at keystone next week. tis now or never, whore.

to ask out lotboy.

jesus christ.


[August 24, 2006 @ 12:43pm]
[ mood | sore ]

I worked eight hours yesterday without a break. woot.

I love working :]

School starts too soon. -big sigh-


[August 21, 2006 @ 12:53am]
[ mood | sore ]

I feel like poo, he feels like poo, so I feel like poo times two.


No real update. Costume party was funny, everyone was drunk or stoned except me, and I quite like babysitting the retarded. Working lots, spending too much money on MAC. Went to MAC with my glorious friend Maxx and her amazing boyfriend. We spent four hours at the counter. Isn't that RIDICULOUS? We both got out makeup done though, bought a ton of stuff. I used Studio Tech in NC20 before and it was SO yellow on me. I'm very very very pinky faced so I was like WTF I'M NOT AN NC >_< or that dark. So I had the lady swatch me in studio fix fluid and I'm an NW15! Voila! Bought it. It's as amazing as everyone says, seriously.

My back is still so unbelievably sore. It just needs to go die, or something.. Ughh, hurts.

Played my piccolo for a solid hour yesterday. Not just messing around playing bits and pieces of music, but just listened for tuning on a B nat in the staff for (seriously) about 15 minutes.. Bought the Trevor Wye combination book for flute (not picc, ugh.) so I'm reading lots of that. It's interesting. Learning lots from it.

My hands are really soft today, it's nice..

Losing weight finally, and I stopped exercising. How does that work, exactly? I'm eating healthier, yes, but .. Weird.

k, feeling crappier now. u.u don't even know why I'm posting this.


[August 19, 2006 @ 10:57am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Last night was good fun. I didn't drink, didn't get high, just sorta watched/babysat everyone. It was nice. Risa is hilarious, she kept on rambling on about how adorable/gorgeous/skinny I was and was like 'I'm 19 and I'd do anything to just look like youuuu' and I was like 'e.e'

Don't really have anything to say.

I'm pretty sick of this, though. Having a love that changes you, moulds the person into another's equal, then being left knowing you're never going to find someone that fits you that perfectly or completely.. Physically, mentally, emotionally, he was my other half. He made up for all of my fucked up qualities, and I made up for his. And when he left? I was more like him than I was ever myself.

How fucking frustrating

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[August 18, 2006 @ 11:26pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I worked at Little Caeser's tonight. and now I'm going to a costume party.

and I am bike riding home. possibly stoned. I am leading Brennan and Teresa home who will both (definitely) be drunk. This is the blind leading the blind. I cannot wait.

I'm at my friend Emily's with Alex and it is good fun all around. I'm a hula dancer. u.u possible pictures to come


[August 13, 2006 @ 8:00pm]
[ mood | sore ]

In a really bad mood again.

My back hurts so bad, and it has for the past three days and this is stupid. I need to go to a chiropractor or something because this is ridiculous.

I need to stop being fat. Yucky. I've felt huge lately. Having trouble getting into size 28 jeans which.. means that I'm getting larger, not smaller. I know I'm bloated but bleh.. I want 28 to be comfortable, not tight. Not comfortable with the weight I'm at, I do want to at least tone up, and lose this.. I just feel gross. I hate being big, it's just.. gross. I'm trying so hard to lose weight and I'm not? Like what is that? :\ I know when people are like 'ZOMFG DIET?' and then go off it two days later they're not gonna lose weight but I'm eating healthier, exercising.. I don't see why I wouldn't be losing weight.

Just frustrated.

Read (7) Comment

[August 12, 2006 @ 12:59pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Lol haircut!

before and after? naahh. just after. Collapse )

Read (6) Comment

[August 09, 2006 @ 5:10pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Promised pictures, including my beautiful amazing piccolo :)

still feeling like crap. cried all afternoon. lol. Collapse )

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[August 09, 2006 @ 12:24pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

I am in such a fucking bad mood..

I wrote out a big long entry on why, but I just figure.. It's not going to do anything about how I feel.

Just need to push it to the furthest little corner of my mind and not think about it. I'm good at that, not dealing with my problems.


[August 01, 2006 @ 10:18pm]
[ mood | happy ]


I applied at Applebee's, and had my first interview today. It went really well, despite being incredibly tired/worn out. He definitely wants me working there, and he said that I'm capable, quick learning, and devoted to what I do. I said, "Yesm."

I asked for full time hours, and he said I'm probably going to be a line cook (a cook of some sort, I suppose?) instead of the position I was initially going for which is a food expo (making your food look pretty on the plate). But.. My friend Teresa said I'll be the youngest there by and far, and it's gonna be hard and soo much to learn at once. But I'm excited, I wanted the job so much..

Which means I'll be quitting at Dairy Queen, probably. I like the job, but I get something like 10 hours a week, which is NOT what I wanted at all.. I actually love the job, hate the boss.

Since I have money now (not saying this as in I WILL have money, but I do..) I'm buying an ipod at long last. Annnd I get my check on Thursday from Dairy Queen and Keystone, and I'm going after I get them/cash them. Hooray.. I celebrated my omgfulltimework!nearly euphoria by buying a cute top and four pairs of ridiculously cute socks with fish on them.

I'm a size 6 in shoes now.. Since when, I ask you!

I've cheered up. Been playing my piccolo lots, trying to improve on that, and finally my ear is beginning to recognize tuning issues such as the C in the low octave -sigh-.. And beginning to be able to fix them without the help of a tuner. Hooray!

I'm losing weight.. Did 20 minutes of running last night, 80 situps. Today my knee is swollen and I don't want to risk screwing it up again because it's not fun, so didn't do much of anything. I'll do situps soon, but not gonna run tonight.. But I don't think I'm losing much weight, just.. becoming more tone, and I barely have lovehandles anymore! Which is great.

I'm starting to like myself more and more. It's his fault.. :] He makes me feel good and secure and happy about myself, without saying much of anything. .. Don't ask me how that works.

I worked at Keystone today, and it's adorable. We walk around the lot when we get bored, and after someone dug up some sunscreen and coerced me into the sun after layering it on quite heavily, I went on a fun little walk! And the girls in the office are trying to push me to be around Ryan (super hot gorgeous lot boy :]) as much as possible. So now, amongst other things, my job is to RUN EVERYONE'S ERRANDS. Such as getting everyones newspapers in the morning from the receptionist, when Ryan is oh-so conveniently polishing cars and such in the showroom. Or when someone is trying to find a file for Ryan while he's waiting there, it's now my job. Anything that involves leaving the office. Apparently he's amazingly polite, brilliant, super duper pretty, fairly perfect all in all.. -.-

Eez cute, but not needed. He's gorgeous and that's pretty much it.

Don't work tomorrow, huzzah!

Promised pictures coming soon :)

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